A Man's Guide to Better Sex 

There's a very bad joke which goes a little something like this: Question: "Why do so many women fake orgasm?" Answer: "Because so many men fake foreplay.

Known as, but, perhaps, not fully recognized or believed to be the least efficient way for a man to bring a woman to orgasm, traditional sexual intercourse, the old face to face, missionary position, is usually not the easiest way for a woman to achieve climax.  For many women, sex begins in the brain and an important part of foreplay entails putting a woman "in the mood."

"The brain is perhaps the most powerful sex organ of all, because sexual thoughts have the power to create physical sensations within our bodies," writes sex therapist Anne Hooper, author of the coffee table book Ultimate Sexual Touch: The Lover's Guide to Sensual Massage (Dorling Kindersley).  "For example, some men can rapidly achieve an erection simply by thinking intensely about an attractive woman, and some women fantasize so effectively that they can climax without a finger being laid upon their bodies."

Although, for most men, the laying of fingers, and other select bodyparts of theirs, on a woman is where the most fun begins, the idea that sexual feelings strong enough to lead to orgasm is possible should be a reality check which illustrates the world of possibilities available to those who would explore lovemaking techniques that  can cause a woman to melt without the need for a vigorous exercise in mattress-shaking sex.

"Why do so many men think that bringing a woman off is all about how hard they can thrust?" asks Vanessa, a 31-year old woman.  "I know there are some guys who have sex like that because that's what makes it happen for them, but I   know there are a lot of guys who just think that is the only way to have sex.   Men still need to be sexually educated about what turns a woman on."

The following five points, according to Hooper, are among several that make for the most intense and satisfying sexual encounters you, perhaps, will ever have:

MAKE CONTACT.  Touch, (see we knew you'd like this part) is an absolutely necessary part of any physical relationship.  But remember, individuals react differently to touch based largely on their previous experiences, so watch her carefully to see how she reacts to those little strokes and hugs.

GET NAKED, BUT JUST PLAY. Before you try this, just make sure you're not horny as hell or you may be more intense then you would normally be.  A nice way to ease into things is for both of you to give each other massages.   Play touchy-feely all you want with each other, but don't let things end in sex, especially when you're first giving this the ol' college try.  This is a good way to make a woman comfortable not only with you, but with her own body as well, especially if you lavish lots of attention on it and show the proper appreciation.

TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN ABOUT HER BODY & YOURS.  When you pay attention to how your own body works and learn about a woman's sexual anatomy and how her body responds to pleasuring, you'll both come away with a better understanding of each other's sexuality.

MASSAGE AWAY.  Not too hard, of course, unless she's begging for it.  Massage is an excellent way to make sex more interesting and intensify sexual repsonses prior to having sex.  By the way, it's also a good way to relieve stress and ease tension.

USE FANTASY.  Even for first-time sexual encounters, fantasy is a potent way to improve the quality of a sexual experience.   Remember, you'll have her own vivid imagination helping things along, so your willingness to indulge in these erotic encounters with her will go a long way to making things crackle.  If you're both the adventurous types, try sexual role playing, experimenting with foods, sex talk (from mild to downright dirty and nasty), seduction games, light bondage, dressing up or a number of other interesting fantasies you can check out in  Anne Hooper's very eye opening book.

Story written by Jason Keyes, Black Men